would you like a dramatic applause in your favor?

If I had to eliminate all other issues I have with the mindset of the basic human population, this would be the one, single, solitary issue that I couldn't possibly give up.

It bothers me to the extent that I cannot possibly live on a daily basis without being annoyed and mentally tormented by the absolute ignorance these certain people exhibit.

I wouldn't necessarily classify it as ignorance, per se, but it certainly is some form of stupidity or mental illness.

Certain people that, I can only assume, have a low self-esteem, and insanely high self-esteem, are obsessed with attention, or obsessed with being liked by the general population, have a specific issue with their personality...

They feel that it is completely necessary to share every single aspect of their life with the entire world.

If a teacher asks a question to the "general class," this person believes that he or she must include their personal input pertaining to the matter.

"So, how did the French Revolution effect other parts of the world during the 18th. century?"
"Oh my gosh!! My uncle is from France! I've been there twice! It's just so great! Ahhh!"

Students who actually wanted to share their answers with the class, who actually raised their hands instead of calling out, were ignored. Their hopes and dreams of impressing the teacher with their prestigious ideas were crashed and burned all because of this one student's decision to rant about a topic that is fully self-centered and had little to no relevance pertaining to the French Revolution.

This is complete and utter bull...crap. (Please excuse my weak word choice) I know too many people who exhibit this quality, and its sickening to say the least.

The fact that they want attention to be constantly focused solely on them is infuriating. 

"A Better Pain Scale" Hyperbole and a Half

I'm about a 10 when I have to encounter these certain people. A 10. That's pretty intense.

A message to these "self-centered" people:

The world does not revolve around you! It orbits the sun. The one thing in this solar-system of ours that provides life, heat, and nutrition. You are not God. You are not Jesus. You cannot be that important. So, please, I am begging you to stop replying to every statement as if it directly applies to you. I am begging you to stop trying to be liked, because frankly, you are secretly hated. 

I will offer you a dramatic applause, but in turn, can you shut up? For me?

embrace the moments that are classified as "awkward"

The amount of awkward moments that I encounter seem to be increasing in number. It's as if everyday I experience yet another horrific event that usually ends in silence, wandering eyes by both parties, and the asking of inappropriate questions...which always seems to result in even more awkward-ness.

I hate them. I despise them. I wish they weren't an inanimate object....I would punch them in the face, stab them with a butter knife, and watch them die a slow, painful death.

It's a very harsh punishment, but they deserve it.

Because, awkward moments will never go away, we must simply embrace them. We should realize they're there, instead of trying to pretend there is, in actuality, no hint of awkward-ness at all.

We should flaunt the fact that we encountered the awkward moment and grow upon it, sparking a new conversation with the opposite party that exhibited the awkward-ness. A new topic has arisen...
It's a genius idea. I used it once in a grocery store.

I saw a teacher from my elementary school in a grocery store. She recognized me, but I barely recognized her. Awkward.

"How are you doing?!" she said in high hopes.

I was thinking...I'm swell, person I've never met before. But instead of actually saying that and ending with a disappointed kindergarten teacher, I said...

"I'm good. How are you?"

Brilliance! She bought it. She thought I knew who she was! HA!

We continued the conversation and eventually I used context clues to actually figure out who she was. By the end of the conversation, I told her I wasn't fully aware of who she was when the conversation first sparked.

She didn't blame me, for I have a young, forgetful, teenage mind.

The awkward-ness was admitted and accepted. It was embraced and we both proceeded with our lives even though we encountered a moment classified as "awkward."

So that's all you need to do. Follow in my footsteps, and you'll be alright like a piece of apple pie.

oh....stop kidding yourself. for my sake.

There's something that's been grinding my gears lately...

Work, or "working" seems to be the number one focus to anyone who has reached the glorious age of 40. Maybe its a midlife crisis thing, maybe its a "I don't want to be around my family, so instead, I'm going to stress myself out over pointless 'busy-work," or maybe they actually like working!

I highly doubt that. No one likes to be stressed out on a daily basis.

So why do they do it?

I have no idea. Maybe I'm too young to fathom the complexity of the situation. So, I asked my mom.

My mom...where do I even begin.

She is the typical workaholic. She works all the time, day and night. When she's not at her job working, she's at home working. And at times, she purposely gives herself more work to do.

The common question around my house is, "Where's mom?"
And the common answer is, "Where do you think?"

...In the god-awful dungeon! (The Basement!)

She sits at her computer, typing vigorously. Any disturbance will not allow her to lose her focus. She's trained for this. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 hours at a time.

My mom is a college professor, a profession to which I wish she never acquired. She's constantly grading papers, making tests, forming grants, and complaining to my dad and I about how her students don't appreciate the work she's putting forth.

But the worst part of it all is that I have to constantly listen to her tell me how I need to prepare my life now for college...and not end up like her students.

It may not sound bad...but it is. 10 horrific years of the same routine. Asking me what I want to major in in college when I was only 7.

So I asked her, "What keeps you working? You're constantly stressed, tired, infuriated...How the hell does this make you happy?'

Her answer didn't shock me to say the least...

"I love the feeling I get when my students come to me and tell me how much they appreciate me as a teacher...I love when I get those little thank you cards, and appreciation e-mails. For some reason, its those little things that make the stress worth it. And plus, working pays the bills. So any stress is worth it..."

Well, this answer doesn't explain why most adults of this generation are workaholics, because, well, most of working Americans aren't college professors. But, working does pay the bills, so I guess I understand this whole concept of working like a madman.

So, to all you bank tellers, pharmacists, and associate directors of whatever, chill. Take a break. Live. You're not going to be able to experience all the things you wanted to do when you were in college when retirement hits.

You'll be old. And fragile.

So, live now.  Please. For my sake.

the absolute insanity. the intolerable invasion.

Is it insanity? Is it an invasion of privacy? Is it dysfunctional?

I'm completely and utterly done with every aspect of this life. Well not specifically "this life." Just the people in this horrific life I, well we, have to live every single, god-awful day.

People are fickle creatures. I'm fickle. You're fickle. We are all so freakin' fickle. We change our minds constantly. We are picky about the foods we want to eat, the clothes we want to buy, the people we want to hang out with...oh! the people!

People feel the need to want to constantly be around other people for almost everything. They feel the need to talk to us about how their cat died last year...or how their dad told them they looked ugly. Honestly, I don't care about your helpless life. So don't complain to me about issues that have absolutely no importance to me what so ever.

People also feel the need to want to "help" with one's issues or extremely graving situations. Umm, no. If I say "leave me alone, I'm fine," I'm seriously fine and I seriously want you to leave me alone.

I don't need someone who is going to constantly "suggest" on ways I can better my life, or make my situation "not as bad."

If my life is screwed up, let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be...speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Sorry, I like the Beatles.

I don't need someone constantly reminding me that things are bad. Don't help. Leave me be. Let me forget about the crap and try to focus on happy things.

And I don't need a loquacious teen to tell me how.

a book review? venting?

Today, I re-read the introduction to Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison (I have read the entire book-just thought I'd put that out there). The book is absolutely wonderful. To be honest, it took me quite a while to understand the basic premise, but trust me, it was worth the "figuring out."

We had a full discussion today about the introduction of Invisible Man in my English class. I found it to be quite appalling. People just simply didn't get it. Maybe this is because I've read the book and I can somehow understand the point of view of the main character in the novel. But honestly, is it really that hard to comprehend?

This man felt invisible to society. He felt as if no one could give a damn about his existence on this Earth. Now, if I felt ignored for a long amount of time, I would seriously have some serious built-up anger inside this small mind of mine. And its not as if people didn't "acknowledge" him. They acknowledge him, realize his presence, and decide not to engage in any form of contact. I believe this makes being ignored even worse.

If you haven't read this book, or the introduction, I'll tell you what happens. A man, this "invisible man" is walking down the street at night when a tall white man bumps into him and calls him a derogatory name. The man who was bumped demands an apology.The white man refuses. The man begins to threaten him or "get in his face" if you will. The white man still doesn't apologize. The man begins to beat him profusely, still demanding an apology. The white man, bleeding horrifically, still doesn't apologize. Leaving the white man on the street to die, the man runs off into the distance, still feeling incredibly invisible.

In my class we were discussing mental pain vs. physical pain. Is fist-fighting worse than mental torture? Mental torture aka "being ignored" = way worse.

Think about the question before answering hastily.

Done? Good.

The human MIND is a glorious thing. But point blank...we need to be loved. We need acknowledgement. We need the feeling that, indeed, somebody does care about us. The feeling of being ignored is insanely excruciating. If someone was being physically punched by another person, that someone will feel pain at that specific moment...and possibly afterwards. But those wounds will heal. Eventually. At least someone is acknowledging your presence. Even if its not in a good way.

Being ignored...well, that's a terrible feeling. You don't feel loved. You feel like no one cares...or even wants to care. That leaves a huge toll on ones mind. It can lead to insanity.

This makes the "invisible mans'" actions completely rational. Built up anger, insanity? It all makes sense. The man is also proving that he is in fact invisible. The white man still refuses to apologize even though hes on the verge of death. The craziness!

This is what my classmates refused to understand. They didn't understand why this man would beat up this white guy out of the blue. It wasn't out of the blue. He had a rational reason.

And instead of filling the classroom with your ignorant ideas, let the people who have a clue, talk for a change!

*dramatic pause..."is it the end?"

Focusing on my past life, in a previous world, or possibly a previous galaxy, generation, or any other unit of the universe, I have learned that the significance of living is a huge factor in ones "so-called" eventful life.

But now that I am here, in this wonderful chocolate bar called the Milky Way, I have learned that the only significant thing about life is the end.

We, as a Dysfunctional Society, believe in a sudden mass death of every creature here on this Planet. We believe in ice ages, meteors destroying the world, and, my absolute favorite, the infamous black hole sucking up our bodies into space.

Are we idiotic? Are we stupid? Or do we just want some sort of recognition for even thinking that something of this magnitude could ever happen?

These three questions are hard to answer. The only possible way to find an answer is to take a poll from every single person on this Planet Earth (including the aliens) and that, my humble friend, is very hard to do.

So with every gasping breath, pray to your God, whoever he may be, (atheists..you are welcomed to pray too, sarcastically of course), that we as an absolutely idiotic society can live and not face the dangers of a hungry black hole.

We are faced with a difficult challenge here. We are told by society that we must eat Milky Way's just because they're named after this wonderful galaxy of ours....(Did you hear?! Now you can buy them with just a caramel filling!) We are told to watch movies like Ice Age and 2012 just so we will believe that the world, in actuality, will be destroyed in the next year. We are told by the History Channel and SyFy that we do, indeed, have aliens living among us.

To hell with this crap. Can we just live, please? Without fear? Is that too much to ask. I don't know about you, but I just want to listen to psychedelic music and eat my frozen dinners until my body decides its had enough of this world.

So, world, put down your survival guides, newspapers, and romantic novels...turn off the stupid tv shows like Jersey Shore and Teen Mom and a whole bunch of other worthless shows I will not name....grab a Twix, pause....take a moment....

Let's conquer this Dysfunctional Society!