paranoia in b-flat major.

Paranoia is a disease.

It's a puss infused bacterial infection. It's in desperate need of some severe antibiotics.

It's disgusting. Annoying. Grotesque. Despicable. But not as despicable as "Despicable Me." You know? The kids movie with Steve Carell? That was a horrendous movie. I mean, first of all, what little kid knows what "despicable" means? Are we trying to teach our young ones to be like super geniuses?

Anyway, back on topic...paranoia. A terrible thing. And I have to live with it everyday.

I'm an incredibly paranoid person.

Paranoia is defined as a "baseless or excessive suspicion of the motives of others." Yes. I have suspicions. I suspect the motives of others. I suspect the motives of others who mean a lot to me.
And yes, I am excessively suspicious of those "others."

I feel like I'm not the only one who has to face this intolerable facet to life. Everyone has some form of paranoia. Even if its the slightest form of paranoia possible, it's still there.

How are we to live with this painful disease? Honestly, I have no idea.

I try to rid myself of any form of jealousy, of any form of personal torture I put upon myself simply because I am jealous, and, of course, the constant worry that someone you care about is going to destroy your trust immensely.

I guess having trust issues is probably the biggest reason from anyone to even exhibit the slightest amount of paranoia. And its sad that paranoia is probably most derived from relationships.

I can relate to this myself.

I told myself that I would never get in a relationship simply because I was always constantly hurt. Not even in like the pathetic...like "OMG, he said he didn't like me anymore....boohoohooo." Ugh. Shut up.

I was hurt in the "I'm going to take advantage of you" way.

So, of course, being in any type of relationship is going to take a giant toll on my emotional and mental state. With this fact, paranoia is bound to occur...leaving me to be highly insecure and unnecessarily emotional.

Paranoia is not something that can be completely dissolved. We have to live with it and its not something that can necessarily escape from the human mind. I honestly do not have a solution for this one my dear friends. All I can say is that we have to live with it and desperately try to not let it get the best of us. It will be hard to do.

But its better than nothing.