Why do people feel the need to conform to society's intolerable vision?
They feel as if they really need some sort of "approval" from everyone. The need to fit in...the need to appeal to everyone's five "glorious" senses...
What happened to the longing for everyone to exhibit an individual character? His/her own personality, characteristics, traits? Has that philosophy, or more like a way of life, changed? Did I not get the memo?
I'm lost, confused, puzzled by this horrific truth that has become the basis of our society. People try to fit in and change their entire persona to gain a sense of acceptance just to be classified as the norm in this society.
This year in my English class, I had to write a paper on identity. We had to justify the claim that people can change their entire personality or character and lose sight of their real selves.
For some strange reason, it was one of the hardest things I HAD to write.
I could relate to this topic, which was a scary truth I had to accept. I lost sight of the real me, ever since I was in elementary school.
Elementary school was the worst period of time in my life. For some odd reason, people refused to see the real me. They saw a obnoxiously smart girl, who allegedly and indirectly claimed to be better than everyone else. They refused to see the girl who wanted to get to know everyone in a positive manner, who wanted to lead with a sense of confidence rather than arrogance, and the girl who acted out in hopes to gain stronger friendships.
I felt socially awkward, helpless in all situations, bullied, lonely, and I felt that I had no one to call my real, true friend.
By the time middle school came around, I formulated a "clever" plan. I decided to change my entire persona in hopes to appeal to everyone. I disregarded my aptitude to learn, lost all sense of the word "confidence," and I focused all my time finding out what other people interests were so I could simply become "friends."
I had a lot of friends, but my grades began to suffer, and without noticing, I was losing sight of the real me. I changed the type of music I listened to, the types of clothes I bought, and my entire mindset. Maybe I just had an extreme case of an adjustment disorder, according to my mother, but I honestly think that I was so concerned with pleasing everyone and pleasing myself by not being a "loner" that I lost sight of my true identity.
But the question was if I still had a hint of my old personality left in me. I think I did. But I had to do an extreme search. Was I still confident? Was I still smart? Was I still a little...well, odd?
I was. But the real me was hidden in a locked drawer somewhere in my mind. I had to find it. And once I did, I would let out my true self when high school hit.
For some odd reason, changing my entire persona made it hard for me to change myself back into my original state. I forgot about the "real me" and instead, focused on a new me that was only a combination of everyone else's unique characteristics. It left me at a standstill.
Entering high school, I attempted to let go of all the things that I deemed "anti-me" and got rid of all the things that easily influenced me. It was a long process...but I think now, I'm pretty much how I was in elementary school.
Then why was it so hard for me to write that paper? Maybe it was because I had too much experience with the topic that I didn't want to accidentally share unnecessary information. Maybe it was because I was in some form of denial. Maybe it was because I lacked a certain capability to incorporate my own thoughts and personal experiences into a work that was supposed to be completely hypothetical.
This brings me back to my original point...why must we feel the need to conform?
It's simple. We don't want to be the odd one out. We don't want to be alone all the time, with no friends to share similar interests with. We don't want to be socially awkward, or impermissible when it comes to any form of conversation. We want to feel wanted, loved, and included in anything and everything we do.
Is there anyway this can happen without changing one's entire identity?
Yes. Stop looking for approval. Stop trying to impress or be impressed by other people. When someone exhibits his/her real traits and characteristics, that person should become more likable, or interesting to say the least, just because he/she is different, unique and has their own personal identity.
Being likable shouldn't be based on conformity....it should be based on uniqueness...like every x having a unique y...
It's as simple as Pre-calculus.
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